14 Adab Wife Relationship in Islam

Married relationship or known as Jima 'is a form of worship in Islam. Worship is a form of obedience, love and deep affection, and as a form of giving obligations and rights to each other where between husband and wife have the right to earn a living and inner income. The heart of the mind is in the form of love and fulfillment of lust.


Husband and wife relations in Islam can be done at any time for the sake of happiness and bonding the relationship between husband and wife, in Islam there is a Shari'a to regulate various aspects of human life including procedures or adab in husband and wife relations. This custom certainly brings goodness and becomes a perfect way of worship between the two, here is the relationship between husband and wife in Islam:

1. In a Clean State

Islam is a clean religion, so God likes cleanliness, cleanliness is likened to something that becomes part of faith because of its virtue. "Islamic religion is a clean and holy religion, so you should maintain cleanliness". (HR Baihaqi).

The relationship between husband and wife in Islam is one of them is done in a clean condition, both clean in terms of place, clothes or clothes worn, as well as cleanliness of the body. Obligatory to clean yourself first before having a husband and wife relationship. In addition to the sunnah in Islam, a clean state will also provide comfort to the couple so that a more comfortable relationship can be achieved. Because it is very clear that the importance of cleanliness in Islam must be done.


2. Using Fragrances

"Four kinds among the Sunnah of the Apostles, namely affection, fragrance, berswakwak, and marriage". (Tirmidhi). Fragrances especially for women should only be used to attract the heart of their husbands, it is recommended to wear fragrances before intercourse so that deeper desires arise. Fragrances can be used on clothes or in beds. Even better if the fragrance is liked by the husband.

3. Dress up that is liked by a husband or wife

It is recommended that both husband and wife decorate in accordance with something that is liked by their partner, decorated with the aim to attract a partner who is lawful is one form of worship. "As good as your wife is, who is good at guarding herself and is good at raising her husband's lust." (HR Ad Dailami). Decorating in this case can be done by wearing attractive clothes that the couple likes, tidying their hair and body, also by doing body care before making a husband and wife relationship.

4. In a closed place

This is important. Of course, everyone already understands that the relationship between husband and wife whether it is intimacy or relationships in other forms, should not be done in public places or places where there are other people, because the genitals are not seen by people who are not mahram and manifestations of shame those who believe. "Shame is the whole good". (Muslim). Affection is enough to be enjoyed privately, not to be exhibited to others.

People who exhibit relationships, especially making out in public is one of the despicable actions that lead to riya and arrogance. In addition, such things become inappropriate in social life as well as in Islamic law. Unless the thing is done is not intended for riya, for example holding the wife's hand and bringing the body closer to the intention of protecting the wife from danger.


5. Pray

This is a recommendation from the Messenger of Allah because all matters that begin with prayer will be more blessed and protected from shaytan. "In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us from shetan and protect us from shaytan so as not to interfere with what You are giving away (children) to us". (HR Bukhari and Muslim). This prayer is read by both parties (husband and wife) before having a husband and wife relationship.


6. Introduction

In intercourse it is not permissible to hurt a partner, a husband and wife relationship must begin with an introduction or make out first so that they feel more comfortable. "Do not one of you associate your wife like an animal. Let him first give an introduction ". (Tirmidhi). This is intended to increase closeness with a partner and prevent feeling uncomfortable.

7. Washing If You Want To Repeat

"If one of you comes to his wife then he wants to repeat it, then let him perform ablution". (Muslim). There is no limit for husband and wife in making jima relations, it may be repeated if you want to do ablution first so that the body returns clean.

8. Big Shower (Janabat)

Conducted after completion of the relationship between husband and wife. This is mandatory because it will prevent the legitimate prayer and other worship if it does not end with a large bath. "If you are junub, then purify". (QS Al Maidah: 6). how to take a big shower begins with reading the intentions and is obliged to wash the whole body with water.

9. Not Allowed to Refuse Her Husband's Desires

The relationship between husband and wife is a form of inner living that the husband has full rights over his wife. A wife is not allowed to refuse if the husband wants it. wife's law rejects the invitation of a husband to have intercourse in Islam, including a sin because God's blessing is on the husband's blessing.

"Your wife is like a place for farming for you, so go as you wish." (Surat al-Baqarah: 223) It is clear from the word of God that a husband has the right to go to his wife whenever he wishes.

In this case can be discussed by both partners when the right time to have a husband and wife relationship, of course as humans sometimes have a feeling of fatigue, but if both parties have a good communication relationship, of course, each other will understand the condition of their partners happily and comfortably. Everything remains back to Islamic law that a wife is indeed obliged to serve her husband.


10. Cannot Be Done When Your Wife Is Having Menstruation

One adab husband and wife relationship is not permissible when menstruating or during the puerperium period, this is called Allah in His Word, "You should distance yourself from women during menstruation and do not approach them before they are holy" (QS Al Baqarah: 222) . Menstrual blood and childbirth are dirty blood and there are still wounds in the womb of a woman, at risk of causing infection or disease to both the husband and wife.

11. Not Through Anal

Husband and wife relations also should not be done through the anus, the rectum is a dirty area which is a place to excrete, is very risky to hurt and cause illness for both husband and wife. . (Tirmidhi).

12. There Are No Limits

"Body relations must be carried out by the husband, that is, he has the obligation to fuck his wife as long as there is no udzur". (Ibn Qudamah in Al Mughni p. 30). It is permissible to have a husband and wife relationship according to the wishes of both, there is no limit because lust has become something lawful.

13. Get reward

Luckily for those of you who are married, besides getting happiness, as a way of continuing descent, you also get a very broad value of worship. Whatever is done by the husband and wife with the intention of worshiping because of Allah and the manifestation of obedience to the spouse, that's where you get the reward. Consider the following hadith, "Whoever holds the wife's hand while seducing her, then Allah SWT will write for her one kindness and merge 1 ugliness and raise 1 degree. When embracing, 10 goodness will be written for him and melt 10 ugliness and raise 1 degree. When kissing him, 20 goodness will be written for him and merge 20 ugliness and lift 20 degrees. And if it is intercourse with it, then it is better than the world and contents it. " (Muslim).

From the hadith it is clear that no matter how trivial the form of affection between husband and wife will get a reward from Allah. The relationship between husband and wife also includes acts of worship that are of high value in God's eyes. What a blessing from Allah as a manifestation of God's love for His servants who must be grateful. Hopefully it can be a motivation for the unmarried to immediately establish a relationship that is lawful in order to be able to prevent immoral acts and make the reward field.


14. Maintain confidentiality

Nothing is perfect including a partner, husband or wife is an ordinary human who certainly has flaws in him. as a husband and wife are obliged to maintain disgrace or maintain the confidentiality of each other. The relationship between husband and wife in Islam is one of them is to maintain confidentiality, is not allowed to defame or spread partner weaknesses to others.


This is prohibited by the Messenger of Allah in his words "Indeed, including humanity the worst position in the sight of Allah on Judgment Day is a man who associates his wife and then spreads the secrets of his bed". (HR Muslim no. 1437).

The relationship between husband and wife carried out with the intention of worship and obedience to the couple will both be equally happy. It is proper to run a worship service in accordance with the Shari'a or the rules that have been regulated in Islamic Shari'a. Hopefully, thank you.